0

Last two months of my life…..

September 01, 2012– This is the date I will never forget. It was pouring outside my office in Nariman Point. Everyone was stuck in the office. It was raining so heavily ( a very peculiar Mumbai trait) that all the train and bus services had started to stall. I was keen to go home nevertheless. Perhaps, I had never been so keen to go so early.  I went downstairs and barked at a cab. I said- “Will you come to Bandra?” That’s it. That was the MOMENT. I had moved ALONE to Bandra from my house in Navi-Mumbai.

I attribute this change partially to the long -traveling time it took for me to reach my work from New-Bombay. But the major reason was- I wanted to experience the “FREEDOM” the self-reliance and the independence in being away from my parents. Well, looking back, today it’s 9 months and I am yet to figure out if I am actually happy having moved away from my parents. One of the major reasons- behind me moving away from house is also this “influence” which I refuse to name. Off course, intelligent and “close-enough to me” people would know about who I am talking about. Well, I am also yet to figure out if this influence was good or bad. May be, I am refusing to acknowledge it as well. May be sometimes ignorance is a bliss!

Anyway, this was a big decision for me. I was apprehensive about moving to the new place. Am I committing  a mistake?  What if something happens to me? What if I was murdered? What if something happened to me? What if I went broke? What if I did something foolish? Am I actually separating my parents from myself forever? What? How will I do it? I am not used to doing my own work? Who will help me? Mom was unhappy, she thought I was trying to break ties with the family. May be she thought, I was a lesbian, or may be I had some affair! Ahem. May be I was planning to run! Oh Gosh! Then I thought, I am going to be independent. If nothing, I will just get closer to my parents. May be I will realize the importance and value of a ‘family.’ Oh and what about the convenience? I will be staying very close to work. Fast trains will be available. I will be able to go to pubs, clubs, movies, stay out and maro night-outs. But again, am I a party animal? Blah blah went my mind.

Anyway, cut to present, today is May 21, 2013. 9 months and some days after I moved out of my house. As, I write this blog, let me tell you- May be I have experienced life a bit. I have explored some parts of Bandra on my own. Some with my friends. Some with Srini ( yeah, my fiance and another reason to move back to Kharghar. I am getting married, so I need to move in with parents and spend ‘some’ time at least, before I leave forever. Sigh). Yeah, so coming back- I frequented pubs, some clubs, drank a lot and ate a lot of junk and outside food. Result- ever growing paunch! Damn! Does it matter. Nah, but still.

So, yeah I will be moving to Kharghar may be in the next two months and may be this was the duration of “MY life.” May be after this, I will never be able to maro night-outs, frequent pubs and drink to my heart’s contentment. Yeah, yeah, my life will not change after marriage. People are not that bad.. Ya right. Everyone is the same, until proven otherwise.

Anyway, I am not sad. I am just  feeling a bit low may be. But what the heck.

Image

0

Things fall apart….

Yes, perhaps this is one of the most amazing parts of  a human life. Things do fall apart and everyone walks miles alone. At such times, you find a shade in books. Sometimes your hobbies quench your thirst. For some it is paintings, for some it is singing, for some it is travelling and for people like me- it is blogging. 

Damn it. Some people ask me– Why not keep a diary. Why blog? Why wash your dirty linen over the web. For some I respond, “It is none of your business.” To some my response is ” Whatever.” For me, with my lips tightened, I talk to myself.  This offers me an opportunity to blast my emotions knowing that even if people important to me don’t read it, it offers me a solace that someone unknown is perhaps reading it and emphatize with me.Even if they don’t who cares. You are reading my blog, shows that you care! So whatever! You read my blog. So better learn to get used to my cribs. 

Ahoy, do I appear rude? Yes, off course. But who cares? This is my blog and I will write what I want. You don’t like it? You leave my blog! Now! Awwww… angry? Why? Because I make a dig at you for reasons unknown to you? May be I am removing someone else’s anger and frustration on you? Now relax, take a deep breathe and think- Is there someone who is taking out their pent frustration of you on someone else? Are you being judgmental? Will you ever know, what I write, what I think and why? No, you will never, until you walk in my shoes. So, stop being judgmental. Stop reading too much into people. Everyone is fighting a battle of their own. You are happy with whatever you have? Good! Stop expecting the same out of people. Perhaps, people have different goals! Stop judging them. You have no beauty and you are happy? Fine! Don’t expect the same out of me. You are caring and I am not? Don’t expect the same out of me. You don’t have money and are still happy? Good for you. Don’t expect the same out of me. Yes, we share the same sky and earth. But that necessarily doesn’t mean we share the same horizons.

So stop judging me. Otherwise don’t cry when things fall apart…..

1

Sir Alex Ferguson- The sun sets

Sir Alex Ferguson- rings a bell? Do you know him? Off, course, what a daft question is this? Football fans need no introduction. And perhaps the most disconnected person will also recollect his name as one of the celebrity, if not know his exact profile.

So, why a post on him today? He’s retired! Yes, the god of County football or whatever is its name- the manager of one of the most determined and successful clubs- Manchester United bids adieu. He is the one who built this team from scratch. Apparently,in his 26 years of career, the club has bagged the Barclays Premier League title for 38 times. Woah!

So? Am I a football fan? Do I follow the club? No, I don’t think so. Apart from Ronaldino or Rooney I don’t know anybody. I don’t even think, I have spelt the first guy’s name properly. However, I have experience the energy and the exuberance of these names.

I have seen the frenzy during Manchester United matches. How? When my friends – off course guy friends used to watch it. They used to talk it. Uff the dushmani tales they spoke for Chelsea and Manchester United. “Don’t say ManU. It sounds like Fuck U!” said someone. I was appalled. I was like what the hell! What non-sense. How can you be such morons. Why worship some game instead of following. I did not understand.

Then one day my brother did this———

ImageHe painted one of the walls in the room! Oh dear lord! What was this? I was so mad at him, I felt like slapping him. And then the truth was revealed.  You can read the truth here: 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manchester_United_F.C.

And after this, there was no looking back. I don’t care, If I don’t understand Football. I don’t care if I don’t know the terms of this game. Doesn’t matter, if I know the people playing for this club.

All I know, is that Manchester United rose like Phoenix. Sir Alex Ferguson helped Manchester to become what it is today! Atleast he was instrumental. This is one of the best stories! 

And everything, that makes for one of the most touching- stories, makes a way in my blog 🙂

Adios Sir Alex Ferguson. I am sure, your fans, staff colleagues, players  will miss you!

Image

 

 

2

“What will make you happier than you are now? Why?”

I have been wanting to blog since a long time. However, thanks to some mind-boggling and life-changing (or so called) stuff, I haven’t been. Oh, ya I got engaged by the way. So ya, now you get the point.

Anyway, coming back to the original topic left blogging for some days. Now, I am back to the grind. This time, though I am struggling to write. I have a strategy. When I face, a writers’ block, I usually turn to Penzu or Goodreads for quotes. I look at these quotes and decide to pen down my thoughts on the same.

This time the quote glared at me. It actually offered me to ask, what I have been meaning to ask one and everyone I meet. “What will make you happy?”

Well, as of now I have no answer to this. Or may be I know. For today, the answer is “I will never be as happy as I am as of this moment, this minute.”

Yes. That’s it. I am happy this moment and that is all that matters. Nothing more, nothing less.

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I have to forgive my past, so that I can live today. Today is my first and only day.

There there is nothing that will make me happier than I am now. Never. Ever.

 

Image