Over a period of last two-three years, I have come to a phase of stormy changes. The first ever change was that there is never a right or wrong! Fuck! This was the biggest and rudest shock. So all my life I have been told that do no wrong, do the right thing, this is wrong and this is right and all of a sudden my eyes open and my brain shouts- “There is no right or wrong.”
I have also come to realize that we are at our unnerving best, when we are challenged. This was one of those moments. I couldn’t take it. I sometimes feel that I still can’t. Sure there is some theory to it. For example, what is good to me, may be bad for you and vice versa. Meaning everything is subjective and everything is relative. What the fuck!
Sometimes I feel this is manipulation according to convenience. I don’t understand. The truth is the definitions keep changing according to our convenience and in what spot we are in. At such times, how do you take decisions? So apparently, this is learning. What is the use of a ‘learning’ when all the thing does to you is hurt you or the worse- confuse you.
My head has apparently accepted it and asks me to manipulate things, people, situations accordingly. But the heart keeps on saying “Why hurt them.” “What if this happens to you.” If you take a close look at what I have said, it seems that most of these thoughts stem from FEAR. “Fear” of losing something, fear of letting something go…
And if you analyse the emotion “fear” you realize that it is perhaps one of the strongest /weirdest/ flaming because it is induced by something or someone – meaning external factors.
What do you think??